Photography by Brandon Joseph
I sent this message (or poem) to a former lover. One that still means a lot to me, but it appears our paths have shifted us apart...at least for now...at least as lovers...I wrote this directly as it came to mind (at 1:12a), as if it spilled out of me. I hadn't known the words to say to officaly close this chapter until then...
I’m not afraid to love you.
I’m not afraid to love you and let you go.
My love for you is from an unfamiliar place in my heart.
A place that I hadn’t known existed.
Until I knew that you existed.
This is a place that lets me love you from a distance.
Not only geographically but emotionally.
This place is strange and a little frightening for me.
I’m not used to loving without attachment.
I’m not used loving after someone’s lost their love for me...
Or hidden it.
Whatever it may be...
I’m not afraid to tell you that I think about you every day.
In a way that makes me ache and also calm at the same time.
In a way that reminds me that you do still exist.
You did come into my world of misguided emotions and misdirected aggressions.
You did turn that all around for me.
I’m not afraid to tell you that I see you in my dreams.
You give me messages.
Messages that guide my uncertainties about you.
I’m not afraid to tell you that I’ve been holding onto something that I’m afraid to let go of.
Something that I know ended back in September...maybe even before.
Maybe it never really started...
I’m not afraid to tell you that I love you.
I’m not afraid to tell you that I love you and I’m letting you go.
But before I go, please know
That I will always have love for you.
I will always be a fan.
I will always think of you.
And when I do, I’ll always give credit to how you put a move on my heart and gave me permission to set myself free.