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Wardrobe by: Haus of PRDMS, Photography By: Jeremy Tauriac
Tender heart
Solid soul
Sharp tongue
Soft lips
Vibrant spirit
Fragile feelings
Vivid thoughts
Wild dreams
Active mind
Keen eye
Steady hands
Quick feet
Tender. Solid. Sharp. Soft.
Vibrant. Fragile. Vivid. Wild.
Active. Keen. Steady. Quick.
My body and my soul.
-C.M.Hamilton (circa 2016)
You've put me through physical, emotional, and psychological pain
Wounds that I've barely allowed to heal
You've ripped my heart out a million times
And I've casually handed it right back to you
Whyyy???
How had I allowed this?
I guess the beauty that I saw in you , I couldn't see in me
And I was blinded from the nastiness that you gave back,
You gifted me only a piece of yourself and I gladly accepted
Because my wide open heart wanted to fill in the cavities of yours
Though...You've taught me a lot
Without you, I wouldn't know that I shouldn't give my heart to just anyone
That I needed to love myself more than I loved you
Without you, I wouldn't know that as tender and fragile as I can be, that at the end of it all I would actually be able to breathe again
From you, I've learned that my significance is not measured by the attention you give.
Or lack there of...
I know that even though my light was dimmed, it still shined brighter than yours
I know that I can not fault you for me not loving myself enough
I've learned that my heart is far more flexible than the credit I give
That without you, I am a million times better
That without you, I am myself again
That without you, I am without grief, doubt, suspicion, insecurity...
Without you I am whole again
You broke my heart so that I could learn how to value it.
Shirt: Ralph Lauren, Skirt: thrifted, Glasses: Warby Parker, Jewelry: My mother's, Shoes: Steve Madden
Photography: Clint Blane (@clintblane)
They say the new year brings new beginnings.
"New Year. New Me."
How about, "New Year. Same Me. New Values."
New Experiences. New Lessons.
In 2016...
I severed several friendships
Established several new ones
Mourned the death of a close family member
Celebrated life with a stronger family dynamic
Got stoned drunk on some unrequited love
Sobered myself up with some tender self care
Lost a job I should've already let go
Found time to create the career I've always wanted
Learned how to say no, when it mattered
Learned how to say yes, when the time was right
Refined myself of toxic thoughts and lower energy levels
Defined my relationship with the Universe
Questioned my connection to Western religion
Explored the practices of ancestral spirituality
Shed a thick layer of skin
Embraced more of my feminine side
Let go of my inner judgement
Allowed my inner voice to sing
Cried a million tears of sadness
Laughed a million tears of joy
Worried way too much for my health
Learned to trust more in my path
Forgot how to give love
Remembered how to receive love
Last year was everything and overwhelmingly nothing at the same time. It was like a beautifully told, but very lengthy, sick joke with a non-existent punchline. 2016 damn near sucked the life out of me. But what has gotten me through in one piece...is my ability to BREATHE.
Dress: Express, Necklace: Vintage Lucky Brand, Scarf, Ring, & Bangles: Vintage, Shoes: TopShop, Photography by Larry Everage ( larryeverage.com)
Wash Away
All the grief and the sadness
All the craziness and madness
All the guilt and regrets
All the tricks and losing bets
Wash Away
I cleanse myself of any pain
To make room for future gain
My body will remain
My soul will retain...
My heart will sustain
I'll wash away with all my tears
Any doubt and any fears
Accumulated through the years
My faith never steers
Though my path may switch gears
Wash Away
Let the lessons of my youth
Be the only living proof
That my future has no roof
My past does not define my truth
Wash Away
-C.M.Hamilton